Comparing prices for purchases such as homes, autos, insurance, appliances and more is very common. But what about funerals? Can you compare prices? Should you? At Douglass & Zook we say yes. We take great pride in our transparent, honest and value priced products and services. You can check prices for yourself by visiting our website https://douglassandzook.com/price-list/ and reviewing our General Price List.
This is something that can and should be done in advance of need. It will allow you to make sound decisions, free of emotional stress that comes from sudden loss of a loved one.
Please contact us at (626) 358-3244 about any pricing questions you may have. We are here to help you and to ensure that your experience with us exceeds your expectations.
Many people agree that September is one of the most beautiful and pleasant months of the year. Despite all it has going for it, September may be a difficult time for those who have just lost someone they love. And for our nation, September is the month in which we remember with deep sorrow the terrorists attacks which occurred on the eleventh day of 2001.
American poet Thomas William Parsons reflects on that in his work, "A Song for September:"
Sorrow and the scarlet leaf,
Sad thoughts and sunny weather!
Ah me! this glory and this grief
Agree not well together.
Perhaps one thing we can do if we are down and depressed after a loss is to step outdoors and soak up all the beauty and magnificence of September. Something, anything to connect with nature's gifts to help us as we work through our grief. It can give us a renewed hope that there will be better times ahead for us.
Perhaps no holiday is associated with so many traditions as is Labor Day. Celebrated on the first Monday in September, it honors the millions of hardworking Americans who are the heart and soul of our economy.
This year's barbeques will be much smaller as social distancing guidelines are in effect. Many malls and retail outlets won't be open for the annual Labor Day and Back to School sales.
Still, we will pause and remember our nation's workers. Many of them, such as doctors, nurses, medical professionals, grocery and retail employees, test site workers and others are dealing with extraordinary conditions to navigate potential exposure to the virus. Millions of others are waiting for the economy to reopen so they may return to their careers and a sense of normalcy.
We at Douglass & Zook salute all who make up our nation's labor force. Our staff of dedicated professionals were here before, during, and will be after the pandemic to serve you with your memorial needs.
American author, novelist and poet Richelle E. Goodrich once noted: "I've had the kind of day that no quote can fix." Can you relate? There are certainly times in our life when we are in a place that when we hear something it falls on deaf ears. Or perhaps we're just not in the mood because where we are in our grief is not conducive to mere written words.
Perhaps those are the moments when we need to reach out to family members and friends and just talk. Or it could be a time where a nice peaceful walk listening to some favorite music will do more than having to contemplate a philosophical statement.
There is no one size fits all when working through grief. So know that you are ok if at times you'd rather not read or listen to well meaning words. They will always be there to uplift you when you are ready.
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Creating a meaningful obituary for your parent is one of the most important things you can do to show your love for them and preserve their legacy. It can seem like an overwhelming task, but a recent article on Legacy.com listed some tips that help transform an ordinary obituary into something far more significant:
1. Talk about their favorite things.
Those who knew your parent will most likely to associate them with their favorite things —music, vacations, food, movies, sports.
2. Tell family stories.
Maybe it's a memory from your childhood, a funny family vacation incident, or a perfect birthday gift or an occasion when you really saw their love for you shine through.
3. Share a quote.
Did your parent have a favorite joke, phrase, or saying that people associate with them?
4. Write about their accomplishments.
Was it an award they received, an athletic accomplishment, a professional recognition?
5. Talk about the ways they showed their love.
Recall not only the things they said, but what they did to affirm their love to each other and to the family.
6. Paint a picture of days gone by.
If your parent lived a long life, there’s a lot of history to be told. Preserving these stories in their obituary will keep that history alive for you and for the generations to come.
7. Ask for help.
You may get some good stories or memories from other family members --- aunts, uncles, grandkids, etc.
Keep in mind as you prepare an obituary for a parent, you’re likely to experience strong feelings of grief as you concentrate on describing the loved one you’ve so recently lost. As you write, remember to take care of yourself and take a break or turn to others for help and support.
November 11 is the day our nation honors the brave men and women who have served in the armed forces to help preserve the freedoms we so dearly appreciate. Our veterans come from all walks of life, ethnicities, and faiths with the common purpose of defending our country and protecting we the people.
However many veterans often struggle once they return to civilian life. According to the Disabled Veterans National Foundation, on average approximately 22 veterans a day commit suicide. Some research has shown that the military and veteran suicide rate is 50 percent higher than that of civilians.
Thankfully there is help available. The United States Department of Veteran Affairs (VA) has a crisis line to help connect veterans with helpful resources. That number is 1-800-273-8255. Since its launch in 2007, the crisis line has answered more than 1.25 million calls and made more than 39,000 lifesaving rescues.
For more information, please visit https://www.veteranscrisisline.net. And if you know a veteran, thank them for their service. It will mean the world to them.
VETERANSCRISISLINE.NET
Veterans Crisis Line: Suicide Prevention Hotline, Text & Chat
In his work, "Buddha's Little Instruction Book," author Jack Kornfield writes: "If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete."
Many people do a good job of showing compassion and care to others, especially during time of loss. But some of us have a tough time being kind to ourselves. We often are our own worst critics.
Self compassion can be tangibly worked out through self care. Especially while we are grieving, it is important to take care of ourselves. There are many simple ways we can do this such as eating healthy, exercising, getting enough sleep, engaging in social relationships, pursuing a hobby, focusing on the positive, meditating/praying, and taking time to reflect.
The more we are able to have compassion on ourselves, the better we will be in the position to show compassion to others when needed.
A recent article on Legacy.com by Linnea Crowther discussed the passing of legendary singer Aretha Franklin. When "The Queen of Soul" left us last August, it was originally reported that she did not leave a will. Her family was forced to settle her rather extensive estate without knowing what her wishes were. Then nine months later, her family discovered three versions of her will hidden in her home. Associated Press reported that two were in a locked cabinet and one was under couch cushions.
To avoid delays and confusion, it is best to share the location or locations where you store the copy of your will. It can save months of being tied up in court. Crowther recommends the following five locations:
1. Your attorney’s office.
2. Your safe deposit box.
3. A fireproof, waterproof safe at home.
4. A zipper bag in the freezer.
5. Your filing cabinet.
You may have other options that you would consider, such as a friend or family member's home. Just remember, to let your loved ones know where you keep it.
"Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make life so, right in the middle of it we die, lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce." Natalie Goldberg, author.
Try as we may, life is anything but orderly. Sure, we make plans but then, life happens. We break an arm. Get the flu. Our water heater breaks. These are the things that interrupt our day to day existence and steal some of our joy and peace.
In most cases, the fix is simple. But when someone we love passes on, there is no quick fix. No magic words, and no magic pill will work.
This is it is called "working through grief." We find out, over time, that as we go through the process---the shock, denial, anger, sadness--- that with the help of dear friends and family, we are able to coral it. We learn to accept the changes it brings. We will always remember, always love, and always carry wonderful memories in our hearts. Life will continue to happen and we will continue grow stronger day by day.
Christmas—that magic blanket that wraps itself about us, that something so intangible that it is like a fragrance. It may weave a spell of nostalgia. Christmas may be a day of feasting, or of prayer, but always it will be a day of remembrance, a day in which we think of everything we have ever loved.
— Augusta E. Rundel
"You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending." C.S.Lewis
In golf it's called a mulligan. You hit a bad shot, you don't count it on your scorecard, and you get to hit again. It's like the bad shot never happened.
Wouldn't you like to give the year 2020 a mulligan? A complete redo. Like it never happened. No COVID-19, no racial strife, no job losses. Just life as we knew it. While it would be nice, there are no mulligans in store for us.
But nothing can stop us from looking ahead and making plans for 2021. While we are not out of the woods on the pandemic yet, there is promising hope of new vaccines that should be available soon. Our nation has endured depressions, recessions, world wars, natural disasters and more. We should take comfort in knowing we have had the resilience and fortitude to overcome many obstacles in the past. We can do so in the New Year.
Poet Rainer Maria Rilke said of January: "And now we welcome the new year, full of things which have never been before."
As difficult as 2020 was, there are many signs of hope for 2021. A vaccine for the COVID-19 virus is being distributed to help combat the disease and help us get our society back to normal, or at least a new normal. And each of us gets to start the year off with clean slate and set new goals.
What do we want to accomplish in 2021? A new year is a great time to make sure our financial house is in order. Are we saving enough for retirement or college? Do we have adequate life insurance? What about a will or trust? And what about funeral plans?
We at Douglass & Zook can assist you with all your funeral plans and help you create a personalized service that best reflects your unique personality. Give us a call at 855-852-9505 and one of our compassionate counselors will answer any questions you may have.
When a loved one passes away, no matter if it was an unexpected shock or after an illness, it is a time where we find ourselves under tremendous stress. Even if funeral plans were wisely taken care of in advance, there are many important details which require careful and caring attention.
Some of those details include transporting your loved one, making funeral arrangements, managing the memorial service, handling the many miscellaneous details (death certificates, Social Security notification, etc.), future memorial planning, grief resources, and more.
Douglas & Zook is able to assist you with all the important details at a level of compassion and expertise that generations of San Gabriel Valley residents have come to trust for decades. Give us a call at 855-852-9505 and we will gladly answer any questions you may have.
Nearly every aspect of our lives has been touched by the COVID-19 virus. Even saying goodbye to our loved ones has been altered, preventing the kind of gatherings we used to have.
But in tough times, such as losing someone we care about, our basic human instincts move us to give and seek comfort through touch. A good hug, handshake, or arm around a shoulder all are things we have given and received as expressions of sympathy.
Until things return to normal, we have to forgo some of the physical ways we give and receive sympathetic touches. However, we can and should still show those we love how much we care in ways that still maintain social distancing. A recent article on Legacy.com by Linnea Crowther listed some easy ways that we can reach out:
Send a card or a note - Words can be very powerful when someone is hurting.
Make a call - With today's technology, a phone call is more than just voice to ear experience. Most smart phones have face time options, and computers make face to face meetings easy from anywhere in the world.
Forward a photo - Sharing a favorite photo of the deceased via email or text can bring back emotions, including some wonderful memories.
Send flowers - Not only are flowers beautiful and fragrant, but studies have shown they have a calming and fortifying effect on the bereaved.
Make a donation in honor of the deceased - There are many local and national organizations that you can donate to in honor of a friend or relative.
Send a gift card - Grief can be debilitating, and those who have just lost someone would be blessed to receive a gift card for a restaurant. During COVID-19, indoor and even outdoor dining may be closed, but curbside pickup or delivery is readily available.
Last November, Zappos.com CEO Tony Hsieh tragically passed away in a house fire, leaving behind an estimated $700 million dollars. To compound the tragedy, Hsieh left no will--- only thousands of color coded Post-Its representing financial commitments. His family asked a court to name his family members as administrators of his estate. However, without a will or trust, the assets go into what is called probate and it is state law that decides who will receive them.
The only way to avoid probate is to have a will or living trust. The main difference between a will and a living trust is that a will merely distributes your assets upon death, whereas a living trust places your assets and property "in trust" which are managed by a trustee for the benefit of your beneficiaries. You avoid probate altogether with a living trust since your property and assets are already distributed to the trust.
You can write your own will or hire an attorney to draft a will or trust for you. It's not very expensive and it will give you peace of mind knowing that your estate-- no matter how large or small--- will be distributed as you wish. Just like life insurance and a funeral plan, it is always best to have a will or trust.
"When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on." - Franklin Delano Roosevelt
When we are grieving the loss of a loved one, it often feels like we are at the end of our rope. We are drained emotionally and have used up our ability to cope with the situation. Tying a knot on our rope could be reaching out to a friend, engaging in some quiet meditation, or perhaps meeting with a grief counselor. The rope will still be there, but the knot will help us from slipping off entirely.
The old adage, let the buyer beware is truer now more than ever, especially with the growing number of unscrupulous con artists who go online or make phone calls to prey upon innocent victims, often the elderly.
The scams are varied: phone calls that request access to your computer so you can receive some sort of a refund from a company, to official looking emails or calls from the IRS demanding that you pay the amount immediately, usually with a prepaid debit card or wire transfer. There have even been email scams with the stolen name and logo of a legitimate funeral home. These emails include a link for an invitation to a funeral or remembrance service for an unnamed friend or acquaintance that when you click on the link, it unleashes malware computer to steal files, passwords and other sensitive information.
If you suspect that you or a loved one has been a victim of fraud, you can call the National Elder Fraud hotline at 833-372-8311 and report it to the FTC by visiting the agency’s website or calling 877-382-4357.
“Humans, not places, make memories.”
― Ama Ata Aidoo
People are the key ingredient to making truly wonderful memories. When we lose someone we love, memories are all we have left. Keeping those memories alive becomes so very important to those who are left behind, and play an important part of the healing process.
So how do we best keep those memories alive, not just for us, but for future generations? Here are some tips from an article on Legacy.com by Robbie Miller Kaplan:
• Display photographs where you can see them often.
• Prepare and integrate family recipes into your daily life and holidays.
• Use a family heirloom, such as a serving piece, at holiday time.
• Pass on family heirlooms to family members that will use and treasure them.
• Tell stories frequently.
• Document personal history and memories.
