The EMP team is really excited about the new podcast, "Invisibilia," produced by NPR. The first episode looked at the differences between the three "waves" of psychology beginning with Freudian Psychoanalytic therapy, moving to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and ending with, our favorite, third wave behavioral therapies including ACT and DBT.
The podcast also highlighted how different people's experiences can be with therapists who work from different vantage points. One example illustrated in this episode was about a man who was experiencing obsessive (OCD) thoughts that centered on violent images. The first therapist he found via a random internet search was practicing from a psychodynamic perspective through which she tried to decipher the meaning behind this man's thoughts. As she attempted to answer the "why" questions surrounding his thoughts, the thoughts became more and more severe and obsessive and the man, in turn, became more depressed.
Had the man stumbled upon a different therapist in the game of psychotherapy roulette, he may have found one who helped him to relate to his thoughts in new ways (rather than working to suppress, change, or analyze them). Through experiential exercises, mindfulness practice, and the use of metaphors, our therapists facilitate this process with our clients to help them recognize that our thoughts are just one element of our experience, and we can choose to get all caught up in our thoughts, or we can relate to our thoughts just like tables and chairs (i.e. we sit on chairs and they are present with us in the room, but we rarely make them the focus of our attention).
If you listen to Invisibilia, we would be interested to know your thoughts!
See below for a study which illustrates the power of radical acceptance.
Health psychologist Kelly McGonigal (TED Talk: How to make stress your friend) explored a startling research finding in her talk last year: Stress may only have negative health consequences if you believe that it will. Her radical suggestion? Instead of fearing stress, befriend it.
In her talk, McGonigal references a study done by researchers at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. Researchers looked at data from a 1998 survey conducted by the National Center for Health Statistics that asked specific questions about stress levels, stress management and perceptions about how stress affects health. They used a sample of about 29,000 respondents from the survey who matched up to public records, and then looked at instances of death among survey respondents through 2006.
Overall, they found that survey respondents who reported a lot of stress and a perception that stress has a big impact on health had an increased hazard ratio — which converted to a 43% increased risk of premature death. However, survey respondents who reported a lot of stress but little to no perception that stress impacted health had the lowest hazard ratio of any group in the survey, even those who felt almost no stress.
I Need You to Be Someone You Are Not
So I Can Be Someone I Am Not
Many of us spend a lot of effort attempting to get those closest to us to be somebody they are not, so they can help us become someone we are not. We want them to be present for us so that we don’t have to feel insecure, inadequate or unlovable.
What’s so hard about that? Here’s the problem. What other people have to do in order for us to avoid having these feelings would mean giving up who they are...just to help us become who we are not. Who are we? We are people who naturally feel insecure, inadequate and unlovable at times. Some of us feel this way more often than others.
To be true to ourselves means to embrace these experiences rather than make the focus of our lives to avoid these “negative” feelings. As we accept their presence, we can use our values and our future as the fulcrum for choosing how we interact more fully and kindly with others.
- Paul Holmes, Psy.D, Founder EMP
~ First Things First ~
“Have a bias toward action—let's see something happen
now. You can break that big plan into small steps and take
the first step right away.”
~Indira Gandhi
For some of us to consider loving or forgiving or controlling our thoughts and actions, it might be too big of a proposition at this moment in our recovery. It’s a short-lived inability, but while it holds sway we should consider that not doing one thing is possibly a beginning step toward doing another.
Not hating is a beginning step to love.
Not blaming is the initiation of taking responsibility.
To diminish our inclination toward powerlessness
is to value strength.
A humble awareness of our own imperfections is
a start on forgiveness.
Ending careless habits increases faithful determination.
Refusing an indifferent attitude is the
foundation for owning our lives.
Disconnecting from discouragement is gaining self-control.
Not allowing laziness is a beginning to action.
Refuting fear is embracing beauty.
Not listening to lies is the first steps in believing truth.
"I was constantly searching for something outside to fix how I felt inside."
NPR.ORG
My Journey From Homeless Drug Addict To Magna Cum Laude
This Op-Ed from the New York Times today speaks to a conversation our Tuesday DBT group had today on the topic of deriving meaning from aversive experiences.
"People shoot for happiness but feel formed through suffering." - David Brooks
NYTIMES.COM
What Suffering Does